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| The recent wildfire that is currently devastating San Diego as I type this entry has already destroyed at least 1000 houses, and millions worth of damages. Families have been evacuated, and about 10,000 people currently seek shelter in San Diego's home stadium. There is only one fatality so far, but thousands of lives have already been shattered. Families now have to start from scratch, as their homes are turned to burnt rubble. It seemed that there's no reason to smile. But a man named Tony Bradley (or was it Toni?) refused to frown.
I saw him on TV while he was twisting balloons to different shapes and sizes. He cracks jokes, he tells funny stories, all in front of the children. The reporter asked him, "Tony, why are you here?". He replied simply "I want to make the kids feel better, and take their minds of the tragedy so that they don't get traumatized.", or something like that. The guy has been doing it for several hours non-stop. He claimed he had made around 300-400 balloon figures, and thousands of smiles, which I think is worth the trouble. Indeed the children around him, heck, even some adults smiled, because Tony refused to frown
That guy didn't have guns, superpowers, or whatever superhero stuff you can think of... all he had was balloons, an inflator, and some jokes. And yet, to me, he is greater, FAR greater than any superhero I can think of. Tony Bradley planted smiles among the flames.
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| I have buried a lot of dead pets before. Some are small chicks, some are unnamed puppies. Some are adult dogs.
It was always a painful task, physically and emotionally. I always get blisters on my left thumb, that I named it "undertaker's blister", or "paltos ng sepulturero" in Tagalog.
Just minutes prior to typing this entry, I buried my sister's pet pitbull, Chairo. The same pitbull that pwned the small kitty, as I have said in the previous posts. Chairo was a nice dog for a pitbull. Maybe that's because he never had the chance to show his true "talents", save for a dog, three chickens, and a kitten. Ever since those kills he was chained inside his cage.
I can't stand being in that cage, so I really felt bad for Chairo. I wanted to set him free, but then I would feel sorry for whatever his mighty jaws would clamp on to. If I was locked in that cage I would have surely gone berserk.
Nobody trusted the poor dog. Everyone feared that Chairo would kill something, or attack someone. I don't think he's aware of that. When I set him out and look at him, his eyes seem to tell me "master! please pat me, please let me cuddle, I just want master to like me! But everyone was cautious when interacting with Chairo just because he's a pitbull, no matter how nice he is, they're still scared that he would attack.
He would patiently wait for someone to get him out of the cage every morning. He jumps every time he sees me making a meal. He never got mad at us. Instead, he had that look that seem to tell me "master! at last! I've been expecting you!
He died of sickness. 2 days of pain. He struggles to get up just to greet me, but he was to weak. He was still happy to see us. If I was him, I would probably think, "master, why do you make me suffer like this?". If he could have told me that, I'd probably be devastated because of what I have done to the poor dog.
As I bury him, the words "I'm sorry" came into my mind several times. I wish I had been a better master, even if I do not actually own Chairo. I felt sad. He was sincere, but I, we did not appreciate him. He wanted to please us. I just wanted to feed him and get back to whatever I was doing prior to that...
Too late.
Whatever the case, I'm sure he's better off without us.
Rest well, Chairo.
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| I wont see her.
I want to. But she won't be here.
I did something that I can not take back not so long ago.
She said she wasn't mad at me. But I won't settle for that.
Because she may not regard me as highly as before.
I want a fresh start.
I want to feel happy when I'm with her.
I want her to feel happy too.
I want her to say "geez it sucks out here, where's JM? It's better when he's around"
Just because she's one of the three.
So far...
None down, two to go.
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| It's not supposed to taste bad.
But it did.
Eating with someone I like at the same time is NOT pleasant. Because that particular someone does not like me at all.
I wanted to end all of that crap that happened a month ago.
I'm willing to admit my mistake.
I'm willing to AVOID that mistake.
I tried asking before.
But the lady had other more important things in mind.
She will always have.
I decided to ask again right then and there.
Wrong timing.
Will there be a right time?
Fine. Go.
...
I can't ask her after all.
I just resumed eating.
Pondering...
Listening to crap about eyes on the chin...
9:00 pm
I did it.
I bid a weak farewell
I wish she heard that.
Then I left
I'm done eating after all.
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| I'll have to break your wings if I have to.
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